Who is Raising Your Kids?

I was watching a television program with my wife this evening and an advertisement came on for the evening news.  The story they were promoting was about Nannies, and how to be sure your kids are safe when you are gone.  They went on to talk about how accidents can happen and how to pick a reliable, trustworthy Nanny to watch your kids all day.  How can you be sure your kids are safe?  Was the question they kept repeating.  I had an answer.  Be the one who raises them.  Obvious?  Yes.  Effective?  Yes.  Are people really going to do this?  Maybe.  Some will, some won’t. 

Raising kids is like getting a dog for some people.  At first they are incredibly involved and attentive to the babies (dogs) needs.  But as time goes on, and the novelty and newness wears off, the parent becomes less attentive, and starts to see the baby (dog) as a burden, rather than a blessing.  Raising a child is a lifelong commitment, and it’s also hard work.  Your patience will be tested, your temper will be explored and you will be exhausted (physically and mentally) much of the time.  It will destroy many of your casual friendships, free time will be a distant memory and you can forget about spur of the moment adventures or late nights out with your friends goofing off.  That’s not necessarily bad, it’s just the way it is.  New things will replace the old.  In my opinion, those new things are better.

But just as some people are not cut out to be dog owners, some are not cut out to be parents either.  It’s a hard thing for people to come to terms with, as having children is just something that people do.  There is not a test, no requirements of intelligence, income, skills, etc.  Many people end up parents without much thought going into it at all.  And when the hard work becomes more than these people are willing to deal with, they check-out.  Video games, television and movies raise many kids today.  And if you have followed this website at all, you know the statistics on how those kids turn out.  NOT WELL. 

Yet this has become mainstream.  Can you believe that?  Letting someone else raise our children is mainstream now.  So why do some parents refuse to parent?  Why do they give up on their responsibility to raise their kids?  Is it because they never wanted it in the first place?  In which case I would have recommended sterilization.  Or is it that they didn’t REALLY know what they were getting into?  In which case I recommend “growing up.”  Or could it be that some people just are not equipped to be parents?

If you are going to do something, do it right.  Having children brings with it the awesome responsibility of raising, guiding and being there for this new person.  This is a human life we are talking about, your child!  If you are not prepared to have kids, DON’T HAVE THEM.  If you already do, you owe it to them to be the best parent you can.  Take responsibility for what you have created and be there for them.  Take responsibility for what YOU CHOSE to create.  Or give them up for adoption where someone who will be there for them can have the chance.

I am so tired of hearing about what a hassle kids are and watching people try to organize their lives so that someone else raises their kids for them (while they work on their career or socialize or play or hang out with friends or do whatever it is that people who avoid raising their kids do.)  It’s the kids that suffer in the short term, and we all suffer in the long run from this type of lifestyle.  Raise your own kids!  Be the kind of person you would want your child to become.  You have the power.  We are all counting on you.

If it requires that you live a more modest lifestyle, so one of the parents can stay at home, then live a more modest lifestyle.  Your kids don’t care what your watch is made of.  They don’t care what year your car was made, or how much your jeans cost.  They care about being with and learning from YOU.  They need your time.  They don’t need expensive video games or the latest fashions.  They need you.  Be sure that their needs are met.  Eventually, when we as parents grow older and really start wanting meaningful relationships with our kids and their families, we won’t be able to if we didn’t do a good job when they were growing up.  Money can’t buy love, and it can’t buy a strong family.  Time and energy, caring and nurturing are the only things that matter to kids. 

Who is raising your kids?

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