What Children Want

A very informative study was done to determine the needs of children.  Here are the top responses:

1- They wanted to feel like somebody special in the eyes of their parents.  How do you make a child feel special?  Tell them, and show them by listening to them and spending time with them.

2- They wanted their parents to treat them in a warm and friendly manner, just like they treat people outside the family.  Children are very sensitive to being treated as if they are less important than the parents friends, co-workers, and even complete strangers.  Treat your family well.  Don’t be nice to everyone else and rude to your kids.

3- Children want to know they are important to their parents.  Are you involved with your children?  Stop, put down what you are doing and focus on them.  “Do less FOR me and more WITH me” was the most popular phrase among teens.

4- Children want their parents to KNOW them.  Kids, especially teenagers, are constantly changing and re-inventing themselves.  Keep knowing them.  “Please understand me,” “spend time with me,” were common statements by teens. “Take the time to know me.”

5- Children want to express their views and know that they are valued.  Empower your kids.  Ask them, “What do you think?”  “How would you solve this?” “What would you do?”  This makes kids feel important.  I benefited from this tremendously as a kid myself.

6- Children want to go to school with kids they relate to.  They see the parents as very powerful in deciding where they live and where they will go to school.

7- Children want to be a part of a HAPPY family.  How much do you laugh together?  What is the overall tone at your home?  Is it happy and fun?

8- Teens want their parents to “lighten up.”  Many adults are too serious about themselves which makes them more negative and less fun.

9- Children want to learn more about their own emotions, so they need a safe environment to be able to express themselves.  They shouldn’t have to worry about being attacked (verbally or physically) for expressing their views.

Remember, we instill the same values in our children that we have and exibit ourselves.  You can’t give what you don’t have.  You can’t have happy, fun, intelligent kids if you are negative, depressed, worried and irritable.

Simple ways to make your children feel special:  Smiling, hugging, holding, praising, spending time with and listening to them.  Really listening to them helps build their self-esteem.  Key.

Help your children lead purposeful lives.  Show them that there is a purpose to commited relationships.  There is a purpose to school.  There is a purpose to life.  Lay a foundation of values because your children will make choices based on these values.  You won’t always be there to guide them, but the value system that you teach them will be.

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