The Fatherhood experience, a roller-coaster of emotions

Today was an interesting day for me.  My son started the fall session of his swim lessons today, lessons he has been taking for nearly a year and a half (since he was 9 months old).  He has always loved the water, and is usually the happiest, bravest and most advanced swimmer in his classes.  Naturally, this makes me very proud of him.  I am always looking forward to new sessions starting, as I get to “show him off” to the teacher and the other parents in the class.  His good nature and love of the water stand out, and his ability is always at the top of the class.

 In nearly every class we have been a part of, there is that one boy or girl who stands out because of their temper tantrums, screaming fits and general unruliness.  For nearly a year and a half of weekly lessons, that has never been my son… until today. 

Today, my son was that kid.  It was the first day of the fall class, a time where you are meeting the other kids and parents, and trying to make a good impression on the new teacher and other children.  Well, my son had a complete meltdown right at the beginning of class, and it didn’t stop until we were in the car, on the way home 45 minutes later.  He literally screamed, yelled, cried and threw a 45 minute tantrum.  The other parents were annoyed, heck, the entire pool complex was probably wondering what horrible thing was being done to this boy.  I thought about taking him out of the class and heading straight to the car, with my face hidden.  But that would teach him that I condone quitting, which I do not.  NO WAY.  We were going to stick this class out no matter what.  And we did.  And was it ever a draining, embarassing and frustrating experience.  If you haven’t experienced a tantrum, in public, in a place where your child normally shines and you want him/her to do well… it’s hard to describe the emotions as a parent that you go through.  The stages I went through were: empathy, frustration, anger, embarassment, and practical shame at the way my child was acting.  I know he’s only 2, and this is fairly common behavior for kids of this age.  But you never think it will be your kid, in front of dozens of parents and kids at the swim center.  But, guess what… there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.  You have to just roll with the punches and hope it doesn’t happen again.  But you know deep down that at some point, it will.

That’s all part of being a parent.  Nobody ever said it would be easy.  It’s definately not.  After I got him in the car, he fell asleep within a couple of minutes.  I guess all that screaming is exhausting.  The thing that never ceases to amaze me is that for the rest of the day he was a complete angel.  Wonderfully happy and bouncing around like it was the best day of his life.  He has some internal switch that can be turned off or on in an instant, literally. 

Little children are a cauldren of emotion, and it’s best to be prepared for EXTREME self-restraint and PATIENCE as the parent.  You will draw on all of your reserves at some point.  Rest assured.  I am extremely patient with our son, as he has had tantrums before.  Not many, but a few.  A real, full-blown melt-down in a toddler is a thing to behold.  I pride myself on giving him his space and not smothering him with affection when he is cranky.  I am there for him, but not in his face.  I have an excellent track record of calming him down and being able to turn his tantrums around, and to bring him back to earth.  But it’s so much more challenging when it happens in public, in front of your peers, when you are trying to “show him off.”

Being a father is like riding a roller coaster.  Sometimes you are up, and sometimes you are not only down, but you are UPSIDE DOWN!  But the ride is certainly exhilerating and worth the price.  What a wonderful experience.  That’s how you know you are alive!

Tags: alive, dad, dadsworld, father, melt-down, mom, parenting, swim class, tantrum