Ten Ways to be a Great Dad

Here is a list from the National Fatherhood Institute, with some additions,observations and comments of my own as well.  Enjoy!

1- Respect your children’s mother.  One of the best things a father can do for his children is to respect their mother.  If you are married, keep your marriage strong and vital.  If you are not married, it is still important to respect and support the mother of your children.  Kids have real concerns about how well their parents get along, and whether or not they feel connected to a consistent and loving family.

2- Spend time with your children.  How a father spends his time tells his children what’s important to him.  If you always seem too busy for your children, they will feel neglected no matter what you say.  As a father, you MUST re-prioritize your life and become family focused.  It’s no longer just about you, or you and your wife (or girlfriend) anymore.  You CANNOT be selfish and be a good father. 

3- Earn the right to be heard.  All too often the only time a father speaks to his children is when they have done something wrong.  Begin talking with your kids when they are very young so that difficult subjects will be easier to handle as they get older.  Take time to listen to their ideas and problems.  CARE about your kids.  If you do, you will take the time to be involved and get to know them.  If you don’t, you will be just going through the motions, which is NOT being a great Dad.

4- Discipline with Love.  All children need guidance and discipline, not as punishment but to set reasonable limits.  Remind your children of the consequences of their actions, and provide meaningful rewards for desireable behavior.  Don’t fall into the trap seen on modern day sit-coms, where the kids do anything they want and run all over the parents.  That’s NOT a good family structure.

5- Be a role model.  I spoke about this in the last blog post.  Fathers are role models to their kids whether they realize it or not.  A girl who spends time with a loving father grows up knowing she deserves to be treated with respect by boys and what to look for in a husband.  Fathers can teach sons what is important in life by demonstrating honesty, humility, and responsibility.  This is HUGE.  Be the kind of man you want your son to become.  Be someone your kids are proud of.

6- Be a teacher.  Too many fathers think teaching is something others do.  But a father who teaches his children about right and wrong and encourages them to do their best will see his children make good choices.  Embrace your role and give it your best.

7- Eat together as a family.  Sharing a meal together can be an important part of a healthy family life.  In addition to providing some structure in a busy day, it gives kids the chance to talk about what they are doing and want to do.  Growing up, my family always ate dinner together.  As a teenager, we all shared the notable events of day, each evening as a family.  That’s critical.

8- Read to your children.  Begin reading to your children when they are very young.  When they are older, encourage them to read on their own and read to you.  Instilling in your children a love for reading is one of the best ways to ensure they will have a lifetime of personal and career growth. 

9- Show affection.  Children need security that comes from knowing they are wanted, accepted, and loved by their family.  Parents, especially fathers, need to feel both comfortable and willing to hug their children.  Showing affection every day is the best way to let your children know you love them.  My family is affectionate.  We are huggers.  I can’t tell you how powerful that is, and the positive effect it has had on my friends throughout my life. 

10- Realize that a father’s job is never done.  That’s why I designed the “Dad for life” t-shirts.  Even after children are grown and ready to leave home, they will still look to their fathers for wisdom and advice.  Whether it’s continued schooling, a new job, or a wedding, fathers continue to play an essential part in the lives of their children as they grow and, marry and build their own families.  I know I still ask my Dad about things to this day.  He is an invaluable resource.  BE that for your kids.

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