I was watching a television program with my wife this evening and an advertisement came on for the evening news.  The story they were promoting was about Nannies, and how to be sure your kids are safe when you are gone.  They went on to talk about how accidents can happen and how to pick a reliable, trustworthy Nanny to watch your kids all day.  How can you be sure your kids are safe?  Was the question they kept repeating.  I had an answer.  Be the one who raises them.  Obvious?  Yes.  Effective?  Yes.  Are people really going to do this?  Maybe.  Some will, some won’t. 

Raising kids is like getting a dog for some people.  At first they are incredibly involved and attentive to the babies (dogs) needs.  But as time goes on, and the novelty and newness wears off, the parent becomes less attentive, and starts to see the baby (dog) as a burden, rather than a blessing.  Raising a child is a lifelong commitment, and it’s also hard work.  Your patience will be tested, your temper will be explored and you will be exhausted (physically and mentally) much of the time.  It will destroy many of your casual friendships, free time will be a distant memory and you can forget about spur of the moment adventures or late nights out with your friends goofing off.  That’s not necessarily bad, it’s just the way it is.  New things will replace the old.  In my opinion, those new things are better.

But just as some people are not cut out to be dog owners, some are not cut out to be parents either.  It’s a hard thing for people to come to terms with, as having children is just something that people do.  There is not a test, no requirements of intelligence, income, skills, etc.  Many people end up parents without much thought going into it at all.  And when the hard work becomes more than these people are willing to deal with, they check-out.  Video games, television and movies raise many kids today.  And if you have followed this website at all, you know the statistics on how those kids turn out.  NOT WELL. 

Yet this has become mainstream.  Can you believe that?  Letting someone else raise our children is mainstream now.  So why do some parents refuse to parent?  Why do they give up on their responsibility to raise their kids?  Is it because they never wanted it in the first place?  In which case I would have recommended sterilization.  Or is it that they didn’t REALLY know what they were getting into?  In which case I recommend “growing up.”  Or could it be that some people just are not equipped to be parents?

If you are going to do something, do it right.  Having children brings with it the awesome responsibility of raising, guiding and being there for this new person.  This is a human life we are talking about, your child!  If you are not prepared to have kids, DON’T HAVE THEM.  If you already do, you owe it to them to be the best parent you can.  Take responsibility for what you have created and be there for them.  Take responsibility for what YOU CHOSE to create.  Or give them up for adoption where someone who will be there for them can have the chance.

I am so tired of hearing about what a hassle kids are and watching people try to organize their lives so that someone else raises their kids for them (while they work on their career or socialize or play or hang out with friends or do whatever it is that people who avoid raising their kids do.)  It’s the kids that suffer in the short term, and we all suffer in the long run from this type of lifestyle.  Raise your own kids!  Be the kind of person you would want your child to become.  You have the power.  We are all counting on you.

If it requires that you live a more modest lifestyle, so one of the parents can stay at home, then live a more modest lifestyle.  Your kids don’t care what your watch is made of.  They don’t care what year your car was made, or how much your jeans cost.  They care about being with and learning from YOU.  They need your time.  They don’t need expensive video games or the latest fashions.  They need you.  Be sure that their needs are met.  Eventually, when we as parents grow older and really start wanting meaningful relationships with our kids and their families, we won’t be able to if we didn’t do a good job when they were growing up.  Money can’t buy love, and it can’t buy a strong family.  Time and energy, caring and nurturing are the only things that matter to kids. 

Who is raising your kids?

Just watch television for about 5 minutes at any time on any day.  Go to a public school and observe the children.  Go online and view what’s popular with our youths today.  Check out the clothes that kids wear and how they wear them.  Watch most any comedian or award show, and observe how celebrities dress, act and treat others.  Listen to some of the most popular music artists today.  Have you listened to the lyrics of popular songs these days?  Have you?  They are not positive as a whole.  I encourage you to go online and look up the words to the music that’s popular today.  Then think about the companies that sponsor these “artists”.  What kind of sick, inappropriate weasels make these marketing decisions? 

The artists themselves claim that they are just “being real”, and “singing” about what they know.  So these poor, uneducated, inner-city kids know a lot about poverty, violence, neglect, abuse, sarcasm and disappointment. Well, how in the heck did that become the driving force in corporate advertising???  Are we really so basic and low that pure shock value has the MOST value?  Big marketing firms seem to think so. 

The problem is this, I believe (and statistics will back me up on this) that MOST Americans don’t condone this behavior nor come from those backgrounds.  MOST Americans are good, decent, hard-working people with good values and strong morals.  It’s just when they are bombarded and battered every second of everyday with an endless stream of vile, negative, sexual and destructive images they begin to wear down and even buy-in to this idea that it’s okay.  Heck, the former President even said that oral sex isn’t sex.  What are young people to think?  Anything goes is what they think.  

Where is the morality of my grandfather’s generation?  Where is the golden rule?  Where is common sense?! And major corporations feed that attitude gladly, laughing all the way to the bank.  These so called “rebellious” kids don’t even have a clue that they are doing exactly what corporations want.  They are sheep, acting like and believing they are wolves. 

Kids today are more sexually active and at an earlier age than ever before.  Brand name clothes and music are must-have accessories for kids to feel accepted.  Their very identity depends on these “material” things.  Why?!  Is it because we have more broken homes than ever?  Is it that Mom and Dad are too busy with their careers to raise their children?  Where are people’s priorities???   

When I was growing up, in the 70’s and 80’s we had those pressures too, but not to the extent kids have them today.  How far are we going to fall as a society before we’ve had enough?  Why are we letting the few malcontents destroy the family unit that made our free society work in the first place?  What has to happen to stop this horrible trend? 

I can tell you one thing, involved, strong fathers make a difference.  A big difference.  That’s what Dadsworld is out to promote and praise.  We need our fathers to be involved in the raising of our kids, and we need to make involved parents the overwhelming majority, not just barely the majority.  We need to encourage parents to raise their own children!  Those fathers who are involved and parents who are doing the right thing should be thanked, and used as role models. 

What are your kids aspiring to?  It’s time to change what we idolize and see as desirable.  We do that by having real men step up, demand that other men either grow up or don’t have kids, and start thinking with our brains. 

We are supposed to be the brightest species of animal that ever lived on this planet, given special power to reason and make independent choices.  And this is the best we can do?  Wear pants that don’t fit and purposely hang off our butts, color our hair and smoke burning cancer sticks, make and listen to angry music about how bad we’ve got it, make fun of anything touching or emotional and generally have an apathetic attitude toward working and accomplishment.  And that’s cool? 

I demand better. 

The problem with a lot of these kids is that they don’t have a Dad around to set them straight, and demand better from them.  These people without Dad’s are the minority, but then major corporations sponsor celebrities, artists and athletes that personify this stereotype and all the sudden the majority of kids have started acting this way (like fools). 

Stop making excuses and justifying bad behavior.  Demand better.  Demand better in yourself, your friends and colleagues and your children.  This movement has to start with #1, you. 

I can hardly believe the amount of people who will justify bad choices, i.e. Getting high, drunk, cheating, smoking, using drugs, etc.  “I had a hard day”, “It’s really no big deal”, “I’m only human, not perfect”, “You would do it to if you had been through what I have.” You know what?  That’s not true.  There really are people out there who don’t drink to excess, abuse drugs, sleep around, commit adultery, take advantage of others, and undermine the family unit.  There are good people out there!  I feel this needs to be said because I have heard people in interviews say that “everyone does _____.”  Not true.  Take personal responsibility and set higher standards for yourself.  That’s part of the process of maturing from a child into an adult.  I will excuse a 15 month old baby for not being able to control his emotions, but a 24 year old adult should have learned self control and social restraint.

It’s time for our culture to step up, take responsibility for ourselves and start focusing and supporting causes of REAL value.  If Dadsworld.com can help out, even in a small way, then our time, effort and money spent running this website will be worth it.  Thank you for YOUR support.  Keep doing what’s right, and keep spreading the word.

I use the word “raising” loosely, because it seems that a large number of parents don’t really raise their kids.  They are more guardians than real parents.  When both parents work, and the child is taken to day care for 4-8 hours per day, who is really raising the child?  Many of these same parents then feel guilt for choosing their career goals and material well-being over their kids, so they spoil the kids with video games, the latest fashions, and expensive gifts.

This causes the kids to be ungrateful, and uncaring.  After all, how can you care about someone else when it seems nobody really cares about you?  What is happening is we have a generation of young people with really low self-images, and few social skills and abilites to handle the real world.  In many cases, these children become delinquents in an effort to get attention, attention that they are not getting at home.  In these cases,  prisons are substituting for parents.  There are articles on this growing phenomenon.

I hear about parents that have a hard time handling their unruly kids all the time.  You see examples on television shows like ‘Supernanny.’  You read about these issues in Parenting magazines and in parenting forums online.  Many parents have spent so much time trying to appease their spoiled kids, they forgot to be the parent.  The authority figure. 

Maybe they were afraid to squash their child’s enthusiasm, or oppress their true desires and feelings.  Maybe they couldn’t find the time.  Maybe they just didn’t care.  Whatever the reason, we need to raise the bar as parents and become better, more competent and responsible in raising our children.  We HAVE to, just look at where our society is collectively in terms of self-responsibility, morality, compassion and character.  We are not anywhere near where we should be, in my opinion.

The reason is parents working too much and parenting too little.  This causes fragmented families, the biggest problem our country faces.  The fragmentation of the family has far reaching effects on our economy and quality of life.  Prisons are filling up and there are so many criminals that we don’t know what to do with them all.  The solution MUST start at home, with your child.  We need to turn this trend around, or our country will not be any different than a 3rd world country, wrapped in chaos, corruption and dispair.  And it won’t take too much longer, at the rate we are currently going.

The acceptance of  lower and lower standards as normal is staggering to me.  We need to demand better of ourselves and our peers.  It starts with us, the parents.  We are in the best postition to teach our children what is right and what is wrong.  What is acceptable social behavior, and what will not be tolerated.  We must start now to make a difference in the coming years.

By promoting Dads and involved Parenting, Dadsworld.com is trying to help turn things around.  We need strong parents with leadership skills and the ability to teach our children what’s demanded of them in a civilized society.  We need to recognize the parent as one of the most important roles we ever take on. 

Parenting should be seen as a noble and powerful position, because we will affect all future generations with how we raise our own kids.  In order to be seen in this way, we have to earn it.  Just like the line in ‘Saving Private Ryan’, “Earn this.”  EARN your title as parent.  Those that do, truly have something to be proud of.  Dadsworld wants to thank all of those parents who are doing it right, and raising self-responsible, wonderful children.

I am serious when I say that the future of this country depends on us.  Take some time to evaluate what you are doing to raise your kids, and what they are learning from you.  Do your kids have unlimited access to the internet?  Do they play video games for hours every day?  Do they have television, video games, a cell phone and a computer in their room?  Is any of this a reasonable way to raise a person of value, morals and character? 

 Do you talk with your kids about value, morals and character?  Do you do constructive things together as a family?  Do you communicate well and regularly?  Do you have your children’s respect?  Do your children really know where you stand on issues?  Do you know your kids likes and dislikes?  How often do your kids read, write in a journal and just think about things?  Can your kids count on you putting your family priorities first, above all else?  How do your kids really feel about the family?  What needs do they have that are not being met?  How can you change to make your family stronger?

Take some time to think about these sorts of issues, and be honest with yourself.  Let’s do the best we can with the time we have.  Nobody is perfect, but we are expected to make measurable progress in reasonable time.  Be sure that we are making that progress and honing our edges, so to speak.  Become the shining example that inspires others to do the same, “pay it forward” as they say.

Personal Development is the key to the good life.  If you haven’t already done so, I invite you to start the journey.  We ALL will be better off in the end.

We all remember the song that said, “the children are our future.”  That’s true, but it’s time to focus on what we can really do something about!  Parents!  If the children really are the future, then the parent holds the most powerful position of influence in the world.  Take it seriously.  Help Dadsworld.com promote great parents, and get the attention of our society where it should be… RAISING GREAT KIDS!  The best way to do that is to BE the kind of parent who is worthy of looking up to.  Thank you.