For this blog post, I want to share a little of my life philosophy with you.  I really believe that most people lead a very delusional life, believing things that are not true.  When given the chance (or asked to take the chance) of really finding out the truth, their low self-esteem prevents them from taking action.  I see it all the time. 

For example:  “Joe” thinks he is an excellent driver and would make a good race car driver.  He has never raced competitively, but he just feels like he would be good.  He lives his life thinking he IS good.  Rather than attend a racing school to hone his abilities, get his license, work on his skills and go racing, he avoids doing any of these things and is content with his delusion.

Another example: “Jim” thinks he is very tough and a good fighter.  He has never fought competitively, but thinks he is a bad dude.  Rather than getting involved in boxing, wrestling or MMA and working on himself, he is content to just believe he is tough.

Why don’t “Joe” and “Jim” take steps to work on themselves (personal development?)  Here is why:

1- It’s WORK.  It is not easy to undertake the task of improving oneself, unless you have supreme self-motivation and strong reasons. 

2- It would reveal their current inadequacies.  Most people have low self-esteem, and those people are afraid to accept the truth of where they are.  It is much easier (in their mind) to live in a fantasy world where they are already the greatest. 

Successful people all seem to exhibit one common trait– DRIVE.  They are obsessed with reaching their goal.  It is much better to work on oneself and continue to learn new things and improve.  My advice to others is to try new things with effort.  The more you learn, the more you CAN learn.  Also, the more you learn, the easier it is to learn new things as you will find relationships between skills and ideas. 

Don’t be afraid of mistakes or reality.  As Jim Rohn said, “Don’t wish for less problems, wish for more skills.”  IMPROVE yourself to the level you desire, don’t delude yourself by believing things that are not true.  Remember, discipline weighs ounces, regret weighs tons.

If you do commit to learing and improve continuously, you will stand apart from others.  This is the path to success, NOT luck, chance or hope.  Self-improvement.

Why are most people not doing this?, why are they not constantly trying to improve and work on themselves?  Low self-esteem.  The determining factor on whether or not you will do this is how good you feel about yourself… self-image. 

Don’t do things that damage your self-image, like drinking too much alcohol, wasting large portions of time, doing drugs, committing crimes, etc.  Don’t do ANYTHING that you are not proud of, because over time it will errode your self-image and cause you to do less and less until eventually you PREFER the fantasy world you created over reality because it is easier, more comfortable and feels better. 

This is how a large number of people live their whole lives!  DON”T live this way.  It is not a fulfilling or successful life.

Be willing to make mistakes, take risks, do the right thing when it’s not popular.  Continue to challenge and push yourself.  Live a FULL life.  Be bold and go for it!  Don’t just EXIST as many people do, LIVE!  Fail your way to success.

If you have a good self-image and self-confidence, you will.  The more you learn and accomplish, the more you are willing to try new things and that leads to a better self-image.  It’s a snowball effect.

One lesson here is to encourage others.  Don’t tear others down for your own benefit or a power trip.  Deep down that won’t feel good to you (lowering your own self-image) and it hurts the other person as well.

As a parent (if you are one), you have an exceptionally important role in the lives of your kids.  It is your RESPONSIBILITY to raise children who are self-confident and willing to grow.  As Brian Tracy says, be sure to raise “Happy, healthy and self-confident children.”  We have the power as parents to influence our children’s feeling about themselves.  Don’t destroy them just to keep them down.  There are much better ways to raise children.  We NEED good parents desperately.

One good thing to try is to play out the observer bias scenario.  We tend to do things better, more thoroughly (different) when we believe we are being watched.  I used to ask myself if God, or my boss, or my parent (some significant authority figure) were to follow me around with a notepad all day for a week, and record everything I did, would I change my behvaior at all for that week?  If the answer is “yes,’  then ask yourself “why?”  Why am I not maximizing the time I have been given?

Often, I believe, it’s because we don’t really think we have a chance to achieve our dreams.  Only a select few of us do.  So we create a comfortable lifestyle where not too much is asked of us, and that begins the downward spiral of self-confidence.  So many people are nearly paralyzed with fear of failure and rejection.  Don’t let that be you.

I am encouraging you to go for it!  Start by evaluating where you are right now.  What are your present skills and abilities?  What is your present career and financial situation?  What is your present family life like?  etc.  Then, ask yourself what you really want.  What is your major definite purpose?  Why do you want that?  What are you going to have to work on to achieve it?  How long should it reasonably take?

Spend a little time thinking and evaluating your own life.  Don’t just drift along with the wind.  Design your life.  And help your kids design theirs.  Help them try new things, encourage them to pursue their dreams.  That’s how we create strong, successful people with self-confidence.

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