Parenting Personal Development

Personal Development is an interesting subject.  I have read countless books, listened to nearly as many audio programs, attended and even conducted hundreds of seminars on the subject.  “The essence of life is growth” is a quote from one of my mentors, Jim Rohn.  I say that Personal Development is interesting because, although most people would benefit from continuing to learn and develop, most people resist.  I guess in order to continue to improve, we must first admit we are not perfect, nor do we know all there is to know about even 1 subject.  Everyone comes from a certain degree of ignorance, and that is very tough for the ego to take.  We would rather stay as we are, and delude ourselves into believing we are better than just about everyone else.  This attitude prevents many people from achieving their potential, but even worse, it affects their ability to parent a child and give them every opportunity for success in THEIR life.

I personally am striving to improve all the time, in many areas.  I feel it’s my responsibility to do so.  Since I have become a parent, I realize that I am a role model.  I have a huge influence over 2 other human beings who are watching virtually everything I do, and studying how I act and respond to nearly all situations.  They also take note of how I treat them and their mother.  This shapes their view of the world, their idea of right and wrong.  It’s a huge responsibility.

Patience is the most difficult skill for me to be consistent with.  As a parent, your patience will be tested as never before.  Teaching children about boundaries and consequences is exhausting.  They will test you and push you and then push you some more.  That’s how children learn about what’s acceptable behavior, and what’s not.  The key is to be firm yet loving.  Strong yet kind.  A leader but not a bully.  Nobody is perfect, and we have all seen examples in the real world of horrible parents treating their children badly.  But I feel I have done exceptionally well to this point.  That’s not to say I haven’t had my moments, but I exert a tremendous amount of effort to restrain my frustration during my children’s meltdowns, tantrums, cranky moods and whining fits.  Yet, even though I would give myself a good grade as a parent, the feeling of guilt when you react too harshly is very real. 

I was asked recently what I thought the most important aspects of being a parent were, so here is a list that means something to me:

Being the kind of role model my kids deserve is a challenge I take very seriously.  Be there for your kids, that’s number one.  Be the kind of person you would be proud of your kids turning out to be.  That’s number 2.  Create a loving family with clear expectations and consistent consequences for unacceptable behavior.  That’s number 3.  Encourage your children and be a positive influence on them.  That’s number 4.  Spend as much time with your family, being together, as you can.  That way you will really get to know your kids, and they will get to know you.  That’s number 5.  And finally, work on yourself as a person.  Work on your patience, your knowledge base, your vocabulary, your social skills and physical health.  Buy into the personal development mentality that says learning is a lifelong journey.  Don’t quit once you graduate from school.  Continue to grow and develop, that inspires people and will lead you to achieving more of what you are capable of.

As a parent, it’s even more important.  You ARE a role model.  Be a good one.

Tags: audio programs, books, dad, growth, jim rohn, life, mom, parenting, personal development, seminars