I hear a lot about people wishing they had less problems.  They complain about their work and with their problems would go away.  Maybe you’d better think again.  When problems cease, so do opportunities.  Solving problems was the reason you were hired at your job in the first place.  And it’s been my experience that jobs with few problems don’t pay very much.

Jim Rohn used to say, “Don’t wish for less problems, wish for more skills.”  Excellent advice.  Continue to work on yourself, and improve your skills, then you can solve bigger problems, the mark of a successful person.

I recently turned 40 years old, and it makes me think about the term “growing old.”  I guess it’s not so bad, as long as the word “growing” is still the key. 

I hope you read our Dad of the Month interview with JJ Birden.  JJ and I have become friends and his story about how he used dark chocolate to help with his inflammation and physical pain after retiring from the NFL is amazing.  I have long heard of the health benefits of eating dark chocolate, and I happen to love the stuff myself.  To make a long story short, I went into business with JJ and am now sharing Healthy Chocolate with others.  It has turned into quite a business, one that I invite you to take a serious look at.  Go to www.thechocolateanswer.com and see for yourself.

JJ and I are building a team of people who share our love of dark chocolate, enjoy the health benefits and want to build a residual income.  Our team has grown to include people in 14 countries, and it’s just getting started. 

Dark chocolate is super-rich in antioxidants, helps reduce inflammation, promotes cardiovascular health and has a host of other benefits.

The Livestrong foundation has several articles on the benefits of Dark Chocolate, as does WebMD, Prevention Magazine, etc.  Here are a few links for you to take a look at: 

http://www.livestrong.com/article/5966-need-antioxidants-dark-chocolate/

http://www.livestrong.com/article/14876-decrease-your-cancer-risk-with-dark-chocolate/

http://www.prevention.com/health/nutrition/healthy-eating-tips/dark-chocolate-and-antioxidants/article/147b50d1fa803110VgnVCM10000013281eac____

http://www.webmd.com/diet/news/20030827/dark-chocolate-is-healthy-chocolate

http://mydrchocolate.soundconcepts.com/

Contact me if you would like to talk with JJ and I about joining our team.  We are expanding our business, and looking for leaders to work with. 

We are having a great time sharing and building a team of people who want to have fun, enjoy life and earn a great income.  Millions of words have been written about success.  These by Elbert Hubbard are among my favorites:  “He has achieved success who has worked well, laughed often and loved much.”  Sounds like a blueprint for a successful life.

Have a great day!

Our Featured Dad, Cameron Herold was recently featured on TED.com doing a presentation about how and why to raise your children to be entrepreneurs.  Here is the link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCar_sFfEf4&feature=youtube_gdata

One of the slides I liked had the following information:  Teach Kids these skills-

1- Problem Solving

2- To Lead Others

3- To Want to Make Money

4- Public Speaking

5- To Ask Questions

6- To Learn from Mistakes

7- How to Sell

8- To Never Give Up

9- To be Creative

10- How to Save Money

11- To Ask for Help

12- To see Solutions

One of the things Cameron does with his kids is teach them to negotiate for their allowance, and look for ways to contribute and solve problems.  Excellent advice!  Don’t wait for handouts or learn to become dependent on the government.  Be an entrepreneur, a person who solves problems and fill needs. 

I like the idea of teaching our kids to be self-reliant.  Empowering people will lead to our advancement.  Don’t let your kids get groomed to be dependent on others.  Whether it’s the system or parenting, often times kids are taught to be dependent.  Entitlements and a victim mentality will lead to people being followers.  DON’T be a follower, be a LEADER and teach your kids to be the same.

Here are 11 Qualities to pass on to your children, from Charles R. Swindoll.  I will add my own thoughts to each one of these qualities.  Good stuff.

One note, the BEST (perhaps the ONLY) way to teach these qualities to your children is to exhibit them yourself.

1- Determination.  “Stick with it, regardless.”  Resolve.  Teach your children that not everything comes easy.  Many things must be struggled for, but it’s critical to finish the job.  Be a finisher.

2- Honesty.  “Speak and live the truth — always.”  This is such an important quality in a person, and sadly lacking in modern culture.  Be a perosn of CHARACTER, and pass that along to your kids.  Invaluable.

3- Responsibility.  “Be dependable and trustworthy.”  Take responsibility for yourself and your actions.  Accept defeat without complaint and victory without apology.  You are responsible for your life.  In today’s culture (rampant entitlement mentality), this might be one of the most important qualities to model for your kids.

4- Thoughtfulness.  “Think of others before yourself.”  It’s so easy to never grow up and be selfish.  It must be, just look around.  Watch how people act.  This is part of being a person of character, quality.  Those are good things.

5- Confidentiality.  “Don’t tell secrets.  Seal your lips.”  Respect others.  If you do, you won’t go telling everyone about others problems behind their back.  Gossip is in poor taste.  Don’t go there.

6- Punctuality.  “Be on time.”  This is a real hot-button for myself.  I am on time.  ALWAYS.  I EXPECT you to be as well.  If you can’t be on time, use your phone and let me know.  Just to show up 20+ minutes late like it’s no big deal is so incredibly selfish and rude, it makes me crazy.  Be a quality person who respects others time.

7- Self-control.  “When under stress, stay calm.”  Learing self-control is essential for happiness in life.  My 3 year old son has difficulty in this area, but then again, he’s 3.  By the time you are an adult, and especially by the time you are a parent, you had better have learned self-control.  It’s part of the maturation process, and a requirement for success.

8- Patience.  “Fight irritability.  Be willing to wait.”  Being able to delay self-gratification is very difficult these days, but an essential part of building a successful career.  It’s also a crucial component of parenting.  Patience needs to be developed.  You will be stressed and pushed well beyond anything you can imagine as a parent.  Being patient is a key to your (and your family’s) sanity.

9- Purity.  “Reject anything that lowers your standards.”  This goes back to a theme I have written about many times in this blog.  Doing less than your best errodes your self-confidence.  Maintain a standard for yourself.  In your personal performance and in the things you spend your time on.  For your confidence and self-image to suffer, it just takes YOU to know you are not meeting your standards.  Even if nobody else knows, you DO.  That’s all it takes to start the process to negativity, depression and poor performance.

10- Compassion.  “When another hurts, fell it withl him.”  As the saying goes, there’s a time to laugh and a time to cry.  Let life touch you.  Be empathetic to others.  This will help you better understand anothers point of view, and lead you to being more helpfull and kind.

11- Diligence.  “Work hard.  Tough it out.”  Be that kind of qulaity person known for getting things done.  There is great satisfaction in completing a tough job.  That builds self-confidence and leads to bigger and better things.  Don’t settle for putting in a half-way effort.  There’s no reward for that.

As I write these, I constantly am thinking about my own grandfather.  He was born in 1912 and always had great stories for my brother and myself growing up.  When I think of him, the word GENTLEMAN comes to mind.  He would be disgusted by so many of the common attitudes of today.  Meanness, entitlement philosophy, sarcasm, shock-culture, lack of hard work and the general lack of appreciation for what we have would not sit well with him.  He was a man of values and principles and he lived by them.  That’s something I will never forget, and hopefully I will pass along his life’s ideals to my kids.

We so desperately need these qualities today. It’s up to us, the parents to make sure these ideals don’t become extinct.  We can do it, and we MUST do it.  I want my kids to live quality lives, and it starts right here with me doing my part.

Here is a list from the National Fatherhood Institute, with some additions,observations and comments of my own as well.  Enjoy!

1- Respect your children’s mother.  One of the best things a father can do for his children is to respect their mother.  If you are married, keep your marriage strong and vital.  If you are not married, it is still important to respect and support the mother of your children.  Kids have real concerns about how well their parents get along, and whether or not they feel connected to a consistent and loving family.

2- Spend time with your children.  How a father spends his time tells his children what’s important to him.  If you always seem too busy for your children, they will feel neglected no matter what you say.  As a father, you MUST re-prioritize your life and become family focused.  It’s no longer just about you, or you and your wife (or girlfriend) anymore.  You CANNOT be selfish and be a good father. 

3- Earn the right to be heard.  All too often the only time a father speaks to his children is when they have done something wrong.  Begin talking with your kids when they are very young so that difficult subjects will be easier to handle as they get older.  Take time to listen to their ideas and problems.  CARE about your kids.  If you do, you will take the time to be involved and get to know them.  If you don’t, you will be just going through the motions, which is NOT being a great Dad.

4- Discipline with Love.  All children need guidance and discipline, not as punishment but to set reasonable limits.  Remind your children of the consequences of their actions, and provide meaningful rewards for desireable behavior.  Don’t fall into the trap seen on modern day sit-coms, where the kids do anything they want and run all over the parents.  That’s NOT a good family structure.

5- Be a role model.  I spoke about this in the last blog post.  Fathers are role models to their kids whether they realize it or not.  A girl who spends time with a loving father grows up knowing she deserves to be treated with respect by boys and what to look for in a husband.  Fathers can teach sons what is important in life by demonstrating honesty, humility, and responsibility.  This is HUGE.  Be the kind of man you want your son to become.  Be someone your kids are proud of.

6- Be a teacher.  Too many fathers think teaching is something others do.  But a father who teaches his children about right and wrong and encourages them to do their best will see his children make good choices.  Embrace your role and give it your best.

7- Eat together as a family.  Sharing a meal together can be an important part of a healthy family life.  In addition to providing some structure in a busy day, it gives kids the chance to talk about what they are doing and want to do.  Growing up, my family always ate dinner together.  As a teenager, we all shared the notable events of day, each evening as a family.  That’s critical.

8- Read to your children.  Begin reading to your children when they are very young.  When they are older, encourage them to read on their own and read to you.  Instilling in your children a love for reading is one of the best ways to ensure they will have a lifetime of personal and career growth. 

9- Show affection.  Children need security that comes from knowing they are wanted, accepted, and loved by their family.  Parents, especially fathers, need to feel both comfortable and willing to hug their children.  Showing affection every day is the best way to let your children know you love them.  My family is affectionate.  We are huggers.  I can’t tell you how powerful that is, and the positive effect it has had on my friends throughout my life. 

10- Realize that a father’s job is never done.  That’s why I designed the “Dad for life” t-shirts.  Even after children are grown and ready to leave home, they will still look to their fathers for wisdom and advice.  Whether it’s continued schooling, a new job, or a wedding, fathers continue to play an essential part in the lives of their children as they grow and, marry and build their own families.  I know I still ask my Dad about things to this day.  He is an invaluable resource.  BE that for your kids.

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Thanks and have a great day!