A few thoughts on the Family Man

One of the movies my wife and I like to watch as we approach Christmas is The Family Man, starring Nicholas Cage.  Like my wife, I am a sentimental person and this movie has always struck me emotionally.  I also happen to agree with the message that family is much more important than material success.  Of course, both would be nice!  But if given a choice, a loving family is second to none. 

The movie is very accurate in a lot of ways, like how it portrays the home life of Kate and Jack and their 2 kids.  The house is always cluttered and messed up.  There are kids toys, drawings, books and clothes everywhere, which is quite a shock to Jack who is used to being a wealthy bachelor.  It’s kind of like that for many new parents, the shock of life-change and the realization that some things that you used to hold on to, (organization, free-time, etc.) you now just have to let go.  My wife and I were very organized and kept a clean house before we had kids.  We fought it hard for a while, and still do occasionally, but ultimately we have learned to not sweat the small stuff.  Clutter is part of the deal.

The scene where Jack is changing the baby’s diaper is also very funny.  I remember a friend of mine changing his young son while wearing a kayak nose-plug!  For whatever reason, I don’t get bothered by changing diapers at all.  Good thing too.  I change about 90% of the diapers in our house.  That was one of our agreements, my wife takes care of the breast feeding and I take care of the diapers.    Of course, I do help with the breast feeding by bringing her water, the boppy, a burp rag and the baby.

The scene where Jack goes through his typical week is also similar to reality.  “I get woke up in the morning with dog saliva on my face, get dressed, walk the dog, drop the kids off, spend 8 hours selling tires retail, retail Kate, then I get home, walk the dog which has the added benefit of me karting off her immense crap, play with the kids then go to bed and get 6 hours of sleep if I’m lucky… only to repeat the same thing the next day.  What’s in it for me?  Where are my Mary Janes?”  To which Kate replies, “Who are you?”  They then have a conversation on the drive home about what they have given up, and what they have.

Having traveled extensively across our country, I can tell you from experience that nearly everyone thinks they are giving something up and that other people have it better than them.  Of course that’s not true, but it’s human nature to think the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.  I always thought that if it was greener on the other side of the fence, maybe it’s because that person is watering it. 

Anyway, the movie is well done, touching and I enjoy watching it.  It also makes you think about what is really important to you.  And if you had it all to do over again, what would you change?  And if you would change things, start right now so that you won’t look back in another 13 years and think the same thing.

I encourage you to go watch the movie, and do some thinking about your values and what you hold dear.  Cherish your family.  They are the best thing that will ever happen to you.

Tags: christmas, dad, dadsworld, family, mom, nicholas cage, the family man